Dreamer and Realist

The 300-ring circus of my life…

Father’s Day 2011 June 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 9:02 pm

Father’s Day

When I got married, my grandfather walked me down the aisle. When I asked him to give me away, he couldn’t understand why. He wondered why I didn’t ask my mom or either of my uncles. “Because it’s important to me that you do it.” Later on, my grandmother told me that meant so much to him, that I loved him that much that I asked him to do that honor. My grandpa is the exact opposite of me in that he doesn’t like being the center of attention for anything. He had so much trouble at the rehearsal remembering what to say when our preacher asks ‘Who gives this woman to this man?’ Loud and clear on our wedding day, so that everyone in the chapel heard him, he remembered ‘Her family and I do.’

You might ask why my grandfather gave me away instead of my dad. Hmm – when you find him, you can ask him. You see, I was an ‘oops.’ My mom had just graduated high school and got pregnant with me. When she told the SD (sperm donor) about it, his last words to her were ‘It’s not mine.’ My great-aunt (who helped deliver me) made the comment at the ‘family meeting’ my mom had called to let everyone know that she thought it best if she just gave the baby up for adoption. ‘Over my dead body.’ Even before I was born, my grandfather was defending me – my knight in shining armor. I lived with my grandparents until I was three, and because of some circumstances, they were actually trying to adopt me. My uncle was still in high school, so I already had a ‘big brother.’ I went to live with my mom and her new boyfriend.

When I was four, the boyfriend became her husband, my stepdad, and dad to my sister JR all in the same year. Until I was 12 (when they finally divorced), he was my father. If you grew up in an alcoholic and/or abusive household, I feel your pain. I know – I’ve been there. Surprisingly enough, I turned out to be a semi-well-adjusted, fully-functioning member of society. We’ll leave that story for another time. However, I did not know he was not my dad until the summer I left my mom. That knowledge made me cry – that was good news that he wasn’t my father.

When I was 14, my aunt married this really great guy who, in the span of four months got married, moved in with her, and acquired a ‘daughter’. See, I went from a straight-A student to a C & D student. Divorce can do that to children. It didn’t help that I became mom to JR and didn’t have time to study and keep house and dinner and help with her homework. It scared the rest of my family. Grandparents, two uncles and an aunt decided that if they didn’t do something, I might not have finished high school (and this all was the final result of one of the bravest things that my friend C ever did…and I will never quit thanking her). I moved in with my aunt and uncle. It was a mahoosive change, going from a household that didn’t care what you did, whether or not you failed school, or who you were hanging out with (unless it interferred with her plans) to having a ‘mom’ and a ‘dad’ who worried about you, were always questioning about your day and school and boys and friends and sports. I panicked and rebelled. Things smoothed out. My grades skyrocketed (graduated with honors). I got into college. I hit rough patches (who hasn’t), but even though I stumbled, I picked myself up and slogged on.

Even though the three men I write this for will most likely never see it, it is written for them. I had a father/daughter dance at my reception, split between those three very special guys.

None of them are my father, but they are all my Dads.

Remember to tell your dad, grandpas, and uncles “Happy Father’s Day.”

I feel blessed that I have three.


Anyone Else… May 10, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 9:52 am

want to strangle people for being immature? I’m so pissed off right now that I could just scream.

*image borrowed from hollywoodtoday.net*


Get some drugs for your bipolar ass. Not everything revolves around you. Start listening instead of just hearing everything.

I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of fucking eight-year olds.
“He’s looking at me!”
“She won’t let me play!”
“I wanna cookie!”

Really? And I’m looking into substitute teaching. I’m such a glutton for punishment.

How’s your day?

Ms D


My Apologies… May 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 11:54 am

Hello out there in interwebz land.

My apologies for not completing the Blogging A-Z – I only had X, Y, & Z to do. I think that I will contemplate and finish them this weekend. Tomorrow, most likely, since we’ll be spending the day with my in-laws on Saturday evening and Sunday day. I need to varnish the toes and pick out a dress for Sunday church. I’d love to have a hat to go with it.

So, how have you been?

Ms D


Blogging A-Z: W April 26, 2011

Filed under: Blogging A-Z — Ms Dreamer @ 10:16 am

O yes, LDs. I’m going there.


He he he. What are your thoughts on Charlie Sheen?
Does he really have Adonis DNA (um, maybe used to when he was younger and much hotter)?
Do you think he has Tiger Blood running through his veins (probably not).

Do you think he’s #winning?

No. Right now, he’s a massive train-wreck waiting to happen. And when it does, I might actually laugh.

I don’t feel sorry for celebutards who fuck up their lives: doing coke or whatever other drugs, alcohol, sex…all simply because “they can.” We as consumers allow them to do what they want, when they want.

Take a look at La Lohan. Bitch please. You need to keep your klepto ass at home so you don’t steal any more of people’s shit; stay in rehab to stay off the drugs and booze; and get a fucking acting job. I probably do actually have more talent than you, I just didn’t have the “great parents” you did. I think if Michael and Dina Lohan were my parents, I would have divorced them years ago. You were fabulous when you weren’t all cracked the fuck out.

And yet, we allow them to do what they do.

There are the true #winning stars: anyone who stays in the spotlight for their acting chops and NOT their panty-flashing, drug-abusing, whoring celebutard self.

Of course, if they were all like that, there wouldn’t be tabloid fodder. They’d just make up some other shit.

I’m #winning. Are you? 😉

Ms D


Blogging A-Z: V

Filed under: Blogging A-Z — Ms Dreamer @ 10:02 am

Unfortunately, I am at a loss for V.

Vindictive? Vivacious? Verisimilitude?

Le Sigh. How about I give you one of the most awesome monologues in movies (not the most awesome, but one of the most awesome)?

“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.”

Dear Lord, that’s quite a few Vs.

Ms D



Blogging A-Z: U April 24, 2011

Filed under: Blogging A-Z — Ms Dreamer @ 7:22 pm


You thought that me, of all people, would pick Unique as the U word of the day.

Nope. Sorry fuckers! *roflmao*

I used to love unicorns. They were something that would have allowed me to be free to be myself. I used to color pictures like this all the time. Loved. It.

Wanted a winged one (an alicorn…or, according to Pliny, an Aethiopian Pegasi). Never got one. (boo)

They were just so majestic. When I rode horses, I’d often imagine a horn growing from his head and we’d fly off somewhere together to have fun.

Don’t get me wrong: I still love the unicorns. A couple of years ago, I found a book at a rummage sale called “A Glory of Unicorns” that was edited by Bruce Coville. Isn’t that just a great term for a group of unicorns? A Glory? Better than a murder of crows….

And not all of these stories are light and fluffy. Some of them get downright dark.

But I liken unicorns to dragons. They do exist.

For some of us lucky enough.

Ms D


Blogging A-Z: T

Filed under: Blogging A-Z — Ms Dreamer @ 7:14 pm


It’s what I wanted to be for a while. A teacher.


I used to play in our basement, teaching invisible children. My sister never wanted to play school with me. 😛

I’d use my school books and paper. I’d make up names for my students – they were always normal names.

I imagined a chalkboard and desks and cupboards and coat hooks and everything else. I’d pretend hang their A+ work on the wall.

But now? I couldn’t deal with a bunch of brats who think the world revolves around them because their parents have made them believe it.

What did you want to be?

Ms D