Dreamer and Realist

The 300-ring circus of my life…

Father’s Day 2011 June 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 9:02 pm

Father’s Day

When I got married, my grandfather walked me down the aisle. When I asked him to give me away, he couldn’t understand why. He wondered why I didn’t ask my mom or either of my uncles. “Because it’s important to me that you do it.” Later on, my grandmother told me that meant so much to him, that I loved him that much that I asked him to do that honor. My grandpa is the exact opposite of me in that he doesn’t like being the center of attention for anything. He had so much trouble at the rehearsal remembering what to say when our preacher asks ‘Who gives this woman to this man?’ Loud and clear on our wedding day, so that everyone in the chapel heard him, he remembered ‘Her family and I do.’

You might ask why my grandfather gave me away instead of my dad. Hmm – when you find him, you can ask him. You see, I was an ‘oops.’ My mom had just graduated high school and got pregnant with me. When she told the SD (sperm donor) about it, his last words to her were ‘It’s not mine.’ My great-aunt (who helped deliver me) made the comment at the ‘family meeting’ my mom had called to let everyone know that she thought it best if she just gave the baby up for adoption. ‘Over my dead body.’ Even before I was born, my grandfather was defending me – my knight in shining armor. I lived with my grandparents until I was three, and because of some circumstances, they were actually trying to adopt me. My uncle was still in high school, so I already had a ‘big brother.’ I went to live with my mom and her new boyfriend.

When I was four, the boyfriend became her husband, my stepdad, and dad to my sister JR all in the same year. Until I was 12 (when they finally divorced), he was my father. If you grew up in an alcoholic and/or abusive household, I feel your pain. I know – I’ve been there. Surprisingly enough, I turned out to be a semi-well-adjusted, fully-functioning member of society. We’ll leave that story for another time. However, I did not know he was not my dad until the summer I left my mom. That knowledge made me cry – that was good news that he wasn’t my father.

When I was 14, my aunt married this really great guy who, in the span of four months got married, moved in with her, and acquired a ‘daughter’. See, I went from a straight-A student to a C & D student. Divorce can do that to children. It didn’t help that I became mom to JR and didn’t have time to study and keep house and dinner and help with her homework. It scared the rest of my family. Grandparents, two uncles and an aunt decided that if they didn’t do something, I might not have finished high school (and this all was the final result of one of the bravest things that my friend C ever did…and I will never quit thanking her). I moved in with my aunt and uncle. It was a mahoosive change, going from a household that didn’t care what you did, whether or not you failed school, or who you were hanging out with (unless it interferred with her plans) to having a ‘mom’ and a ‘dad’ who worried about you, were always questioning about your day and school and boys and friends and sports. I panicked and rebelled. Things smoothed out. My grades skyrocketed (graduated with honors). I got into college. I hit rough patches (who hasn’t), but even though I stumbled, I picked myself up and slogged on.

Even though the three men I write this for will most likely never see it, it is written for them. I had a father/daughter dance at my reception, split between those three very special guys.

None of them are my father, but they are all my Dads.

Remember to tell your dad, grandpas, and uncles “Happy Father’s Day.”

I feel blessed that I have three.


Anyone Else… May 10, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 9:52 am

want to strangle people for being immature? I’m so pissed off right now that I could just scream.

*image borrowed from hollywoodtoday.net*


Get some drugs for your bipolar ass. Not everything revolves around you. Start listening instead of just hearing everything.

I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of fucking eight-year olds.
“He’s looking at me!”
“She won’t let me play!”
“I wanna cookie!”

Really? And I’m looking into substitute teaching. I’m such a glutton for punishment.

How’s your day?

Ms D


My Apologies… May 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 11:54 am

Hello out there in interwebz land.

My apologies for not completing the Blogging A-Z – I only had X, Y, & Z to do. I think that I will contemplate and finish them this weekend. Tomorrow, most likely, since we’ll be spending the day with my in-laws on Saturday evening and Sunday day. I need to varnish the toes and pick out a dress for Sunday church. I’d love to have a hat to go with it.

So, how have you been?

Ms D


Ya know what? Fuck it… February 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 4:33 am

I’m such a horrible blobber. I never update, I never let you in on my life anymore, and for that, I’m sorry.

However, there’s some big shit brewin over here in my little slice of the world, and it ain’t pretty. It’s all going to come to a head, and someone’s going to get ugly and someone’s going to get hurt.

J has been one of our best friends for ages. He introduced me to DnD, WoW, good foods, good wines, and some really good friends. He’s recently become single because he discovered that his girlfriend had lied to him. Repeatedly. And got caught.

See, he works with the public, protecting and serving. So when he was told that his girlfriend’s mother was dead, he thought he’d do a good deed by contacting other family members to see if there was something that she could have of her dead mother, lo and behold, her mother’s not dead! On the contrary…she’s been looking for her daughter!!

She got pissed off. Like didn’t want to know anything about what he found.

She was caught in several other lies; the biggest of which is that her father’s not a cocaine drug kingpin like she says. She lied straight to Mr Realist’s face on something (I don’t remember what it was now), and probably to me as well on many small things.

J had had enough. He put a letter where she would be sure to find it (in a pack of more lies), and she returned to the house. She was to pack her stuff and get out (I don’t know time frames, so bear with me). J’s upset because he really liked her.

He finds out that she’s filed a complaint with the department about him abusing his powers and finding her mother. Here’s where I get a bit pissy. If she was telling the truth about her ‘dead’ mother, I would have been overjoyed to know that I had a chance to get to know my mother again. She files a complaint? What the fuck are you covering, bitch? Didn’t like that you got caught in a pretty big fucking lie?

It goes back and forth for a while, and the verdict has come down. Because her manipulative, lying, cunty whore ways, my best friend had to resign from this part of his career.

So, not only did J buy her a laptop computer, a car, and got her mother back, but she took his fucking job away from him? Where do I sign up with a fucking club?

Anyway…she’s FB friends with his ex-fiance…and Mr Realist’s younger brother. What the fuck, Chuck?! Apparently, she searched him out, and she knew exactly who she was getting into a relationship with.

And you all got another think coming if you expect me to be friends with the cunty whore. Huh-uh. No fucking way. Not on her miserable little life.

Here’s the rub: we’re apparently supposed to be happy for Younger Brother Realist because he’s happy? Huh-uh. No fucking way. He’s telling us that we’re supposed to look beyond that she has a past, because everyone does.

So we’re just supposed to look past the fact that she ruined someone else’s life? Wow. Huh-uh. No fucking way. Not on anyone’s miserable life.

Here’s my prediction for this relationship: they’re going to compare pasts – she has Asperger’s; he’s got Middle Child Syndrome, and it will blossom into lies each bigger than the last – my mother’s dead; my dad used to beat me; I’ve got cancer.

She’s supposedly Jewish, and he wants to be a youth minister. Wonder how that’s going to work? 😉 “My god’s better than your god!”

And the fuck if I have to be nice to her. Huh-uh. No fucking way. God himself would have a hard time convincing me to be nice. Ain’t gonna happen.

I’m done being nice. And I’m choosing my side.

And no offense to anyone out there, but NO ONE is that fucking clueless. It’s just not possible. 2 + 2 = 4. The sky is blue. And cows go Moo.

Fuck really? I’m dumbfounded, flabbergasted, and gobsmacked, all in the same sentence.

Which I thought THAT was never possible.

Apparently, it is!

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D


Still Upward… February 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 6:57 pm

I did it! (I know this is a few days late…) I made my 5-weeks-no-sugared-soda goal!! *doin the happy dance* (still haven’t dropped weight yet…fack).

Anyway, we’re starting a new 5-week goal: From 2/5 to 3/12, we are going to get excercise three days a week, 20 minutes a day. For me, this means Monday/Wednesday/Friday, I go with my friend Lena to the fitness center here in town, and we do a 20-minute walk.

However, I have Zumba class held in the training room of the company I work for on Tuesday nights from 5-6. Bonus–high score!!

The goal is just to do it until 3/12. If I like it, I’ll continue (just like I’m doing with the non-sugared sodas…I’m on day 38 of that one).

Go me…it’s my birthday…
we’re going to party like it’s my birthday…
gon’ sip Bacardi like it’s my birthday,
and you know we don’t give a fuck, is not yo birthday!

Ahhh…I’m working my way slowly out of this funk.

Ms D


Looking Up… January 26, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 9:31 pm

I’m on day 25 of no sugared sodas. I think if I drank a Coke or a Mt Dew (non-diet), I might barf.

Remember how I complained about the clusterfuck that is our local gym with the Walking Pass? A girlfriend and I went to lunch today, and while we stuffed our faces, we talked about weight loss. She’s lost 12 pounds in the last two months almost effortlessly. She does walk a bit at her second job (pizza delivery), and she works out for about half an hour three days a week. Other than that, she hasn’t changed anything.

Wanna know what she’s doing?

Taking a vitamin B-12 every day. That’s it. It helps boost metabolism. I will be getting those this weekend.

The other thing we talked about was going to the gym. Her best friend hasn’t used his gym pass (in the work town, not the live town) in ages that they’re paying for. Guess who will now have a gym pass for the low low cost of $8 per month?

That’s right, bitches. Me.

I’m only aiming for 30 minutes, 2 days a week on my lunch hour beginning next week. (we’ve also got an hour long Zumba class going on Tuesday and Thursday nights at work, so that will supplement the workout).

In a year, I’ll be a shadow of my current self.

Things are seeming to fall into place.

Now, let’s see if I don’t eat all the cookie dough that I’m making this evening. 😉

Ms D


Well, Hell January 20, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ms Dreamer @ 2:43 pm

Ok, I know I promised better pictures, but there is a good excuse. Mr Realist forgot it was his late night at the bank, and by the time he got home, the neighbors were over making dinner as thanks for feeding the fish for two days (!).

We had faboosh chicken parmesan and mashed potatoes and salad. And I only ate about a third of a chicken breast, a cup and a half of mashed tatoes, and two big handfuls of salad with light ranch dressing.

He’ll take them tonight – I’m plying him with his favorite cardboard pizza (just one).

For some reason, I’m in a much better mood today, even after the lack of sleep. Didn’t go to bed until 11, tossed and turned all night (was up twice to pee), and then up-n-attem at 5.50. WTF?

I’m on day 19 of no sugared sodas. Normally I wait until lunch to have my one-a-day, but this morning, I desperately needed the caffeine.

The glass in the pic is one I try to have at least three glasses of water from a day at work. It’s a 16oz, so at least that’s 48 of my “required” 64-a-day. It’s kinda easy. Now that I’m limiting my sugary drink intake, I find myself craving water or unsweetened tea more often. Yay go me.

On a side note, anyone know how to do basic html so I can change the header to something better on blogs? Maybe I can have my friend in graphics come up with something for me that I can use…hmmm…make my business card into a header maybe?

Anyway, I’m going to put my feet up in front of the fire, pour a couple fingers of some Single Barrel over ice, and relax (in my mind, at least).